..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
