what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
