Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I deserve this hangover.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize