Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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