But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
