youre lurking in front of me
Someone shit on the floor
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
