yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
