There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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