I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
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