Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
