garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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