I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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