I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
do nipples grow back?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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