Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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