I'm drive I can fine osifer
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Randomize
