My liver just broke up with me...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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