all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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