WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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