I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
