Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
