So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
