How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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