So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I am available for nakedness
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
