Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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