when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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