i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
one might say we're banned from that church
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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