He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
