No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
