Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
