quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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