Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
