evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm jealous of your bromance
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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