I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
