Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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