Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
