If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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