Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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