is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
