I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
