East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
