I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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