did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
