I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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