no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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