508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
