So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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