yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
