I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
