: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
