i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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