The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Sex in the backyard? Check.
i out mim tonsoeep
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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