Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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