i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
